i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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