Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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