he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
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we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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