you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize