i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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