I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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