some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
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I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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