please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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