If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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