mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize