smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize