You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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