Nicole vs. Life
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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