I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize