You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize