All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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