What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize