wakey wakey hands off snakey
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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