i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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