I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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