Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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