the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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