Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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