Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize