Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize