You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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