i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize