CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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