dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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