After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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