Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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