Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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