I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My penis needs a shock collar
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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