Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize