I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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