another moral hangover. fuck.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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