So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize