hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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