dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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