Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize