Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize