Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
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My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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