i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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