haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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