it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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