the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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