11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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