So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize