and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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