Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize